Thursday, September 1, 2016

Ya Shouldn't have Kicked that Last Stone -- It Musta been Kryptomite

Those shorts are gone. Burned to ash and buried under lead in a secret location, but that is a later tale; a rather gross, disgusting horror tale at that.

But on this bright day in late May there was nothing gross or disgusting, and it didn't begin with anything frightening, like waking up to goblin under he bed.  I was just out for my usual early morning walk, something I have done for years now. My main way for keeping fit. I begin when the sun dawns and stroll for five miles or so and feel ready for the day.

I had completed a third of my route. I was going down the long sweeping path that surrounds the meadow at Rockwood. Everything felt good and fine and no different than any other morning jaunt.

Then someone, somewhere, threw the light switch.

What in the world just happened? All the power just left my upper legs. It was as if my thighs were tires and they just went instantly flat. I could barely wall. My legs were hard to lift and I felt like I was walking through sand in iron shoes. Believe it or not, I actually considered continuing my usual route, but the further I stepped, the more weary my leg muscles seems to get.  No, I might be lucky to reach my car and drive home.

What could this be? Less than a week earlier I had my regular physical at the Doctor's. Ha!, physical is sort of a misnomer anymore. There is far less physical than chemical. The Doctor hardly ever touches you. Ha! Doctor, you seldom actually see the doctor. You generally see a Nurse Practitioner, who takes your blood pressure and your temperature with devices that work automatically. No more old time thermometer with Mercury; no more cuffed sphygmomanometer with the squeeze ball. (Do they even call it a sphygmomanometer anymore? I think it is just a Blood Pressure Meter.) Mostly, though, they give you a scorecard (this is where the chemical comes in) breakdown of your scores from a lab. Most of these are blood tests, a couple are from urine.

Anyway, I had passed with flying colors (red and yellow?). It was one of the best physicals I ever had. Everything was in good balance. My creatine was a bit raised, but it had been at that elevation for over a year and I had a nephrologist keeping an eye on it. I had a follow-up appointment with that guy coming up in June. Of course, my cholesterol  were higher than they liked.

No reason not to continue of long morning walks. In fact, the NP was surprised and delighted I  took these and she encouraged them. You got to keep moving for good health. The only complaint I had was a slight running of my nose and stuffiness. She thought it was just a spring allergy and she prescribed some antibiotic called Cefdinir along with OTC Allergy Relief tablets.  I dutifully followed her direction and faithfully took these.

And then someone threw that light switch.

I was a good boy, I went the doctor about it. Yeah, I waited a bit because I had two doctor appointments lined up in June, one at the Rheumatologist and one at the Urologist.  I decided to go to those appointments and see what they might say. Thy both said I was doing great, come back to see them in 6 months. Sp then I called Dr. Fears office and sang them my tale of woe and they booked me in right away. (Dr. Fears is not his real name, but it is what I am going to call him.)

Lo and behold, Dr. Fears came out of the secret Bat Cave and saw me himself. I don't consider that a good thing. He always acts impatient, like his time is so valuable and you are interrupting whatever it is he does back in the Bat Cave.

I told him first of all I had followed the nurses proscribed medication and direction, but it didn't work, I still had that throat clearing, nose-running. He grabbed a proscription pad (actually his tablet) and did an order for more Cefdinir.

Hmm, I am already on a medication that lowers my immune system, but treats my Arthritis.

Meanwhile, Dr. Fears is already out of his chair headed toward the door. He hadn't even addressed my main concern and why I came. I quickly stopped him, "I can't walk," I blurted.

He cam back and sat down. "What do you mean you can't walk."

So I explained to him orally all of what I wrote about above.  He grabbed the trusting proscription pPrednisone belongs to a class of drugs known as corticosteroids. It decreases your immune system's response to various diseases to reduce symptoms such as swelling and allergic-type reactions." 
ad again and ordered me some Prednisone. "

He then gave me an order for two, not one, but two MRIs and a bunch of Cardiology Tests.

I was told to make an appointment with a Neurologist, who name he gave me. 

So, let the fishing begin!

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